Happy Happy Joy Joy

Ida is 1 today. I can't wrap my head round that fact, but there it is anyway. A year ago and she was only hours old. A year ago and I was only a few hours away from the worst time in my life when she was taken away from me to go to the Special Baby Unit for 2 nights.

It's funny, the things you forget about when life goes about it's normal business. I hardly ever think about those nights away from my newborn baby - even though I spent almost 3 days being awake and frantic and trying to hold my sanity together, whilst all around me new mothers fed their babies and rocked them to sleep and looked upon their tiny faces with THAT look, saved for the new and the loved.

I frequently go back to the first night I got her back though, we were moved to a seperate room and I lay awake, again, waiting for her to wake up. Willing for her to wake up so I could feed her, so I could hold her, so I could be her Mummy. We found excuses - the 2 of us - to stay together the whole night in my arms and it suited us both just fine.

For the rest of my life I will feel her little head in the crook of my arm. And that, too, suits me just fine.

Happy Birthday Little, Busy, Neep.