Jake And The Lampshade of Shame

Earlier this week Jake went to the vet to have a lump removed from his elbow. It was a fairly hideous growth that we called The Rat Brain. He's had it for more than a year and every time it's got bigger, changed colour, looked like it was thinking too much, I've taken him in so the vet could look at it. The decision has always been that its probably nothing to worry about and as its not bothering him best leave it alone. This week it really started to annoy him and he started biting at it so we decided it was time to take it off. Today the biopsy came back and it's benign so HUGE relief there. He's been really good about leaving the wound alone all week ...until this morning when he thought it would be a good idea to unpick the stitches. I had worried that if we removed the Rat Brain his intelligence would be reduced, although its hard to imagine that's possible, apparently I was right.

So he's been condemned to the Lampshade of Shame. A huge plastic funnel with his head at the bottom....a sort of portable Sarlacc pit or 1960's BBC Science Fiction Space Dog Helmet ....Quatermass and the Dog From Beyond!

I am now faced with the knowledge that I am evil and cruel. Not because I am trying to stop him gnawing his leg off but because I can't stop laughing at him. In my defence he does look hilarious as he thrashes around knocking everything over and fails (despite multiple attempts) to negotiate gaps narrower than the great white lampshade. It should also be pointed out that he seems to be under the illusion that this is some sort of bizarre escapologist game that I have dreamed up for him, he therefore is wearing his silliest, waggiest grin and has lost control of his tail rotor.