Clumsy...

If I had a quid for every time I've dropped something, tripped over my own feet and hammered my fingers today then I'd be down the pub with a bottle of bubbly!

This is my first weekend at home for a while so I decided that my flat needed some serious attention. I have so much clutter that I've almost run out of wall space, I certainly have no cupboard space and the floor space seems to be littered with clothes and all sorts of other crap. My clothes horse is a permanent feature these days so I was fairly determined to pull my finger out and get on with it. Four loads of washing done, one to go.

Last night I changed my bedroom round, mainly because I keep waking up the wrong way round in my bed with my feet hanging out the side. It just felt wrong so I pulled everything out and moved it all round. Now it all feels right. Naturally, I then decided I'd do the same in the sitting room so now my chair is at the other side of the room and I can survey my little palace and the shitload of clutter in its entirety. This makes me happy. Nothing like a different perspective to spur a little action in the cleaning department! Lesson to self: think it through before you put the bed on the wrong side of the room. Fud!

So this morning... well I sort of managed to stay up most of the night and in my wisdom decided that my window needed new curtains. Off I went to brave the shops on a piss wet day along with the rest of Edinburgh to find me some curtains. I wanted some thick, cosy ones for winter. The thin ones I have will go for a clean and in the cupboard for summer. I found the perfect pair in Dunelm and not ridiculously pricey either. Clever me I'd measured the window at about 4am so I was armed with the right sizes. Lesson to self: think it through when you decide to stay up all night and then get the measuring tape out! Eejit!

I get home, out come the ladders and I even washed the window. I say window cause I'm a lazy arse and couldn't be bothered doing the other two, given that I never open the curtains in the bedroom I already said I was a lazy arse I figured there was little point. My Mum will be shaking her head, both at the dirty window and the lazy arse. The curtains aren't floor length as I thought. No wonder they weren't expensive!! I hung them anyway... they looked like a sad version of the last set. I took them down again and then attempted to fold them into the same order they came in badly so I can take them back tomorrow. Lesson to self: think it through and wash your windows more often so the bird shit doesn't need a welder to get it off! Twat!

Next on the list was my mirror that I bought in Kendal. I can't decide whether to have a whole wall of fisheye mirrors - I have three now and always on the lookout so if you happen to see one on your travels shout me - or whether to put them on different walls. I opted for the most difficult wall to be able to get the ladders to... natch... the one behind the ridiculously huge old-fashioned-none-of-this-flatscreen-cleverness *rolls eyes at self* The mirror looked shit on that wall. Too high up and without reflection. Lesson to self: think it through before you start hammering picture hooks in the last remaining bare wall, through your finger! Doofus!

I know... I'll put my clock up there. So I move the ladders, fetch the clock, move the ladders, hang the clock. Bit high but fuck it... I'm not hammering in another hole in the wall. So the clock is in place, the idea being the other mirror will go where the clock was on the adjacent wall to the one I found stole when I was in London. Good plan! The clock is a lovely silver one I bought with house-warming vouchers I got when I moved in. It one of those pendulum things hanging from it. So on the wall behind the ridiculous huge old fashioned TV is this thing moving in the corner of my eye. That's not at all annoying. No. Lesson to self: think it through before you even get the hammer out of Grampa's old tool box! Beyond help!

Then I cleaned the bathroom. I tell you what... I am disgusting. There was a clipped toenail down the back of the lav and the reason I know how long it's been there is that I haven't painted my toe nails that colour since April! Midden! Still, better than finding it in bed now isn't it?! I even cleaned out the little drawers under the sink. I am the world's worst hoarder. I threw out all the shit. Why am I keeping toothpaste that's so ancient that when the pump dispenser thing broke I clearly thought I'd fix it or cut it open or something. Needless to say I never have. It went in the bin. Now my bathroom is cleaner than my kitchen. Lesson to self: clean the fucking bathroom more often you manky bint! Dirty dirty dirty!

That's tomorrow's task. The kitchen. After I've taken back the duff curtains of course, and what's the betting they don't have them in stock and I'll either have to do without curtains till they can order them or start from scratch and find other ones. I almost considered patterned curtains but I'm such a creature of habit that it scared me too much I decided against it. Stripes would be good but I fear anything garish and I really would have to admit middle age. I refuse point blank to do that in my little flat that's full of clutter, shoes, other people's junk and so much more stuff along with so many great times. There's a distinct lack of being someone who's grown up and has a grown up, minimalistic, clean house where you could turn up anytime and I'd never be embarrassed by my filth. That's the way I like it!

So this is a little snippet of the sort of clutter I collect... when I was out with Damnonii last weekend, I saw these little wooden funnies and thought I'm having one of those. Immediately I was asked to let her see which one I was buying because the lovely, lovely lady had bought me one already. This is hers. Had it been there when I looked I'd have picked it!! Thank you lady! You have me pegged! x