365

Woooo finally I have managed 365 consecutive blips :)

I started with the idea of improving my photography skills, well that aim seems to have been pushed out of the window though I do still like to have days where I do make a 'real' effort.

But blip has become my corner somewhere to record a snapshot of the day, where I can put down my ramblings and thoughts. Sometimes I have something to say, sometimes I don't.

I may not be the best commenter, but I genuinely do spend a lot of time reading others journals and looking at the blips. Much needed smiles have been given and sometimes it's nice to know I am not alone.

So tomorrow I find out if my world changes.

Its the final meeting to decide if I get to keep my job or not.

I've been going through a process called ill health capability and I feel I have been set up to fail.

I have been very unfocused this weekend and depressed.

My brain has been alternating between racing ten to the dozen and thinking what needs to be done should the worse happen, what I can sell, who I need to see to find out what I'm entitled to, then there is the head in the sand mode and then the very tiny part that just feels I should disappear, fade away.

None of which is very helpful

Then there is also the destructive part that just doesn't care. I have paperwork I am meant to be reading, I am meant to be preparing to put my case as to why they should keep employing me. But in truth I can't because I get angry because I find the situation unfair, a run of bad luck with at times I feel little compassion or understanding and something's I can't even disclose because I'm not meant to know them.


It's odd that the timing has rounded up so nicely. A new start tomorrow but in what capacity....