'Dirty Protest or Hair Ball?'

Dear Opendoor,

After in depth forensic investigations, I can announce, with confidence, that the poo Pip found on our bed this morning, was in actual fact a long wet hairball. It goes without saying that this hairball belonged to Maissie and this morning we discussed at some length the etiquette on hair-balling.

Maissie has assured me that this will never again take place in the house. She will continue her hair-balling in the garden area, or indeed in our neighbours gardens; whichever is closest at the time. She is sincerely sorry.

Your loving, kind, ever generous and unselfish wife,

Craftynini.
x

A lovely day to you all.