Civil Disobedience


*DISCLAIMER*
**if you are easily offended by strong language, please look away now!**
**if you are easily bored, please look away now - I think this is gonna be a long one!**


I have never felt more fucking alive than I did tonight. I have so much to say right now, and I want to get it out. This is a moment I want to keep forever.

I'm gonna explain the blip, then I'm gonna try to explain the moment.
Saw Primal Scream in Hammersmith tonight. Visually, it was stunning. So many fantastic pictures I could have taken. But, there were people actually being thrown out for taking pictures, so we decided against taking any in the auditorium. Yet people were smoking in there, and they weren't being chucked out. How does that work? anyhow, as we left, we decided we should record the moment for prosperity. This is the best we could come up with. It really is an awful picture of us. But, it is what it is. This is us, this was the moment. So it stays, as it is, for us to remember exactly what this moment was like.

Over the past few months I have found out somethings about me that I don't like. I've struggled with this. Really fucking struggled. I've tried to find answers. They're not there. I've tried to find reasons. They're not there. I've tried to make sense. It's not there.
But tonight, I had a moment of clarity. Standing there, surrounded by hundreds of people, music banging in my ears, lights strobing in my eyes, bodyheat filling up the room, I really fucking felt it. at that moment I was the only person in that room. and it was calm.
I can't explain where it came from, or why. I can't explain what led to this point. It just happened. And that's the crux of the matter, I think. I've realised that things are just what they are. I'm not going to look for answers anymore. I'm not going to try to find reasons. I'm not going to try to make sense of it.
My favourite Primal Scream track, in fact it's my favourite track of all time, is this .
I qoute this a lot to people, when they ask me for my thoughts and advice on feelings. So I'm going to start taking my own advice. Don't fight it, feel it.