Trapped

When I first decided to Blip this billboard I had no idea that it was for domestic abuse. In all honesty I thought it would probably be for a helpline for depression or maybe even something far less serious. So when I saw the tagline at the bottom after photographing it, I didn't want to use it. I didn't want to make light of the subject by either ignoring the intent or showing my quite blatent ignorance on the subject. I tried to explain this to A who, when I said 'I don't know anything about domestic abuse', he just replied 'well you're rather lucky aren't you.' Which alone made me want to Blip it.

So. Some things I didn't know about domestic abuse that I do now...

1. "The Crown Prosecution Service in 2008 exceeded its target of successfully prosecuting 70% of domestic violence cases, and it has retrained all prosecutors and caseworkers." That's taken from the Home Office domestic violence website. Part of me thinks that 70% is a pretty low number considering the subject. I appreciate that not all cases will be valid, but then I struggle to think about those women in that 30% that are left with their ex husband roaming the streets or, worse, living in their home while they're forced to stay in a woman's shelter.

2. The phone numbers for domestic abuse victims are plastered everywhere you search for the subject. I doubt that these women don't call the helplines because they don't know the number, but more because they know exactly what the stranger at the other end is going to say. They KNOW they should leave their husband. They KNOW they should seek help. They can speak to specialists all they like, it's not going to make the decision for them. Only they can do that and it's a damned brave thing to do.

3. 2 women a week are killed by their current or former partner. This constitutes about 40% of all female homicide victims. The statistics unfortunately don't detail how many of these women have reported their partner and action hasn't been taken. In fact that would be an interesting study, however I can't imagine the police would be keen on it becoming public.

4. 1 in 4 women experience domestic abuse at some point in their life. Half of them experience it on a regular basis.

Its easy to say 'if he ever raised a hand to me I'd leave'. Or 'if he does it once he'll do it again'. But how often do you actually hear women saying they've left after that one time.

If you're in love with someone, do you believe them that they'll never do it again? Do you tell youself that you asked for it and it was really your fault? Maybe he was drunk and that's just what happens when he's been drinking.

The study also mentioned that "In a study of 200 women's experiences of domestic violence it was found that 60% of the women had left because they feared that they or their children would be killed by the perpetrator." That means that 40% of women, many who likely fear their partner will kill them, stay. What keeps them there? Fear? The worry that they won't be able to sustain themselves without their partner? Or worse still, that they somehow deserve the violence they experience because 'that's just how their partner is'.

So what started as a fairly normal Blip where I was going to talk about how happy I was and blah blah blah became quite interesting, shocking and frightening.

Thank you to womensaid.org for teaching me.