Life as a sitcom....

For all overseas chums I should explain. One Foot in the Grave was a hit sitcom of the nineties, basically its the story of a man of a 'certain age's' continual struggle with the modern world.

With that in mind, read on.

Dear readers last night I left you in a very posh room in a very post hotel. The plan was to have the luxury of three days of work, long lies and room service cosseted in a 'boutique' room of mammoth proportions.

So I checked in, set up the interweb, made a cup of tea and watched a documentary of my choosing in a bed bedecked with an acre of pure white Egyptian cotton. I dozed off after reading a chapter of the latest book.

Tomorrow, I thought - maybe up at 10, down for breakfast, it was served till 11 after all, how civilised.......sleep perchance to dream!

Imagine how you would feel to be shocked awake at 0730 by a team of builders and plumbers converting the room underneath your bed into yet another over designed, over priced pod. Not happy or relaxed - that's how you would feel!

So as not to look like Mr Angry, I showered and changed and set off to right some hospitality wrongs. I've discovered through past experience that you don't really have much gravitas when shouting at the top of your voice in a public place while your clothed only in PJ bottoms and t/shirt. Not a good look.

I arrived at the Front Desk demanded to speak to the Duty Mangager. The receptionist pointed at my feet 'that's him!' The man on his knees polishing the floor turned out to be the man himself.

To cut to the chase, I was moved to the 'Penthouse Suite' which looked like a film set of a seventies Carry On film all cream leather and view of the car park.

Back to the Front Desk after asking for my bill.

"If I had wanted to be woken by builders I wold have gone to Benidorm in the off season and if I had wanted shabby I would have gone to Blackpool" and flounced out.

So here I am in a room with three beds and have just bumped into a group of elderly ladies in cardigans talking about the up and coming 'Bridge Weekend' which after the cherry cake lunch at the Memsahib's seems some quite apt.


Time for another cup of tea methinks.....