My First Photograph...

.... of Ben, that is.

back blipped

Ben was born on 23rd October, an "assisted" delivery. Steve won't let me blip any of his photographs so you will have to imagine the Tower of Art that I was hooked up to, my hand that was bandaged up with drips coming out of everywhere, Ben's first feed and my hospital stay. Never mind - perhaps it's a good thing!!

If you're worried about labour - don't read this. At my 6 week check I was told that I'd had a pretty traumatic birth experience (I don't agree, I was pretty calm and coped very well!) and could have an elective caesarian next time if I wanted!

I managed a long time in labour just on gas and air, and using the TENS machine (which I kept forgetting to switch back to pulse and had it on boost continuously!) but eventually I got to about 8cm dilated and the midwives agreed that I needed an oxytocin boost to get me dilating faster. I begged for an epidural because there was only so much I could cope with zoning out, I wanted to be a little more present. The consultant said at the time that he thought the epidural needle had gone too far, speaking later he said he thought I might have a short epidural space (something to remember for next time) and that I may have suffered a double puncture, where the needle goes too far and punctures the spinal space causing loss of pressure... you can read up about it if you're interested. It only happens to about 1 in 100 women... But the epidural itself worked and I managed to get fully dilated and started pushing quite happily now that I could concentrate a little better on what was going on. We did need the obstetrician in the end as I needed an episiotomy and apparently I lost a bit of blood, but Ben was born with forceps at 1.13am finally and put straight onto my chest. That was a sight I hope I never forget. Steve was given him to hold and look after once he'd been cleaned up and dressed while I was being stitched back together. Ben was taken to SCBU for monitoring (I'm diabetic and they wanted to make sure his sugar levels were stable and that he was holding his temperature ok) but was brought to me in the morning for mummy milk. I learnt to feed him lying down - something I am immensely grateful for - and the one thing that the both of us got right without too much help was feeding. He latched brilliantly.

I stayed in hospital for nearly a week, I had a blood patch done to try and fix the double puncture (that's another thing you can look up, I won't go into it) but the surgeon couldnt get enough blood out of me in my terrified and shut-down state to do the patch, but hoped it would be ok. In the end it only worked a little bit, but I spent nearly 6 weeks with the worst headache in the world, unable to be upright for very long without being crippled with pain, only just coping with a colicky baby.

We got home the day after my birthday.

This photograph was taken only a couple of days later, me lying in bed, looking up at my husband holding my new son. A beautiful moment.