How to get out of a ticket...

Lie.



Let me tell you a story....


A couple of months ago, as White was driving to the loft, a guy turning onto the one-way street she was already on (downtown) pulled out of his side street and straight into the side of my car (well, the driver-side rear wheel & fender). Totally mashed my fender in, but did nothing to the bumper of his Lincoln-Continental boat.

When the cops arrived he apparently changed his story a couple of times - first, he swore he hadn't pulled out (huh?), and then, after the police explained to him how ridiculous this position was - considering he was sitting five feet out into her lane - he adjusted his fabrication to a new fiction about her somehow changing lanes into him as he pulled out.

Which is ridiculous. Even if she had been in the other lane (which she wasn't), she still would've had the right of way - he should've yielded when he saw her changing lanes, instead of pulling on out.

While the police checked the licenses and insurance, he actually went so far as to walk a few blocks down the street (out of sight) and come back with some homeless guy in tow, swearing he'd seen it happen just the way the man described (he hadn't, in reality, been anywhere around, and was probably too drunk to remember it, if he had been). He was promptly thrown in the back of the police car and hauled off for some outstanding warrant.

Anyway, bravely flying in the face of all logic, the man refused to admit what he had obviously done, and adamantly insisted it was her fault, not his. The cops said they had no choice but to give them both tickets for their alleged infractions, and let the court sort it out.



Today was finally the court date. But - it was a busy day, it was late in the afternoon, maybe he'd had a bad lunch - for whatever reason, the prosecutor decided - over White's objections - that he didn't want to waste his time on the case, and dropped all charges against both of them - preventing the case from even being heard. It was just "he said-she said," he said, despite the police report pointing out the man's changing story and indicating a clear skepticism of said story.

The man walked out of the courtroom grinning like a Cheshire Cat.

All we ever wanted was for him to admit it, so his insurance would fix the damage he'd done to the car. I guess I get that bill now, because the prosecutor didn't want to deal with it.



The moral of the story? If you ever get a traffic violation, make up some story, no matter how ridiculous, and blame it on someone else. Stick with it through thick and thin, and they'll eventually let you off, because they can't be bothered.

Truth be damned.