"What do I want"?!!

"OUTA CHILDMINDING"!!!!!!............

"When do I want it"?!!!!!.................

"NOW"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today I finally told everyone concerned that I no longer wish to continue childminding.

I didn't sleep well last night, my dreams were complicated, untidy and running on a loop. I feel such a responsibility to the children I look after and I was feeling guilty that I was going to put their parents in childcare panic. But I was getting depressed by it all. I'm not a really good type that is happy to take on other peoples children, smile and feel content. Dealing with crap from the Care Commission is something I don't care for either.

I was told that because I sometimes heat up soup provided by a parent that I would have to register as a food service.

When I asked if Kevin could be a named emergency contact on my certificate, I was told 'no', he'd have to be registered as my assistant and that I'd have to create whistle blowing policy. If he ever did collect a child (along with our son) from the school because I was at home with a child who'd suddenly become ill (this actually happened) then I could've been reported and it would have been illegal.

They want me to register as inactive once I have no children in my care even though I'm registered until November. I asked if I could remain active so I could help out here and there until my registration runs out (I have paid to be registered). They said "no".

Can't wait to be out of this.

I am genuinely very fond of all the children I care for.........it's just there's so much more to life. I tried it.........I'm moving on.