My beautiful baby girl

Today, is my big girls birthday. She's 4 today! So here is our story ..

We had been trying for a baby for nearly a year, when we finally got that blue line, we were both ecstatic. In fact, we built the nursery there and then! We knew that our first would be a girl - girls have always been first down my maternal and paternal line - we didn't know about Mr G's family, but, my lineage was good enough that I had already bought some pink bits ;) I'd worked out my due date to be the 12th March, although hospital changed that to the 9th. I'm not precious about due dates so I was comfy with whatever happened .. and enjoyed every single moment of my pregnancy.

On the 10th March, I very reluctantly joined Mr G on a day out to a friends BBQ, I wasn't in the mood to go but went along. I was dragged to the shops by two well meaning friends to lift my mood but it didn't help. I wanted to be home. We finally got home around 5:30 and I told Mr G that I was tired and needed to sleep. We both went to bed and within an hour, I had my first contraction. It hurt. Lots. We let them go for about 45 minutes and they were hard pains. Mr G called the maternity unit who advised paracetomol and a bath. So .. at 9pm, I was in the bath. Struggling through the pain. I had set up a camp bed in the spare room as it was the most comfy thing for me to sleep on so I spent the night on there, trying to will myself to breathe through these pains which were tearing through my body. I went through to Mr G at around 1am, we timed the contractions, they weren't regular but they were hurting. Once again, I was advised the paracetomol and bath. So, at 2am, I was in the bath. I tried to go to sleep and sort of rested between pains. At 5am Mr G came through to see if I was ok, I wasn't so he called again and they told us that we could go in. So I wolfed down some Weetabix and in we went .. expecting to be meeting our baby really soon!

So, we arrived at 5:45, I was put into a delivery room and examined and found to be very nearly 3cms dilated. Ugh! All that pain for WHAT!!?? So, I was given a TENS and told to do laps around the ward. Usually that lap would take 5 minutes, but I had to stop to hold onto something every few minutes. My contractions, although hard, weren't regular .. 4 hours later, I was examined and nearly 4cms. 4 hours later, nearly 5cms so at 2pm, I had some pethidine. I was able to at least rest but I cannot really remember what happened during this phase. I know that at one point I stood up, getting really agitated that I couldn't get comfortable, I wanted to lay down, I didn't want to lay down then I felt a pop in my tummy and my trousers were soaked through. My waters had gone! SURELY it was time now. at 6pm, they examined me .. I was .. 6cms. They decided that by now, 24 hours later, that I was tired so administered an epidural. Finally, I could rest and the contractions were just dull aches. Mr G was monitoring them for me on the little computer screen! At around 8:20, those pains were coming more often and I was starting to feel them again, the midwife told me that it was time to push, so, with all my might, I pushed .. and 45 minutes later at 21:08, my baby girl was sprawled out in front of me. My beautiful baby girl! I remember, as though it were yesterday, how she was laid slightly on her side, with her right leg over her left and her eyes slightly open. She didn't cry, she was just content. She was put onto my chest where she presented me with her first poo! I cuddled my baby for 45 minutes then they took her to clean her and dress her, they cleaned me up and stitched me and I was ready for the post natal ward. 2 days later, after successful breastfeeding, I was allowed to go home.

That was the scary part. Bringing home the baby. We willed her to do something, but she was pretty boring! :)

As a baby, she was breastfed on demand, she was picked up whenever she needed us, she spent most of her babyhood in my arms or a sling. She was never left alone for any amount of time. I co-slept with her until she finished feeding at 9 months .. most people told me that I was creating a problem, making a rod for my own back and I simply responded that it was MY back, MY baby ..

My beautiful baby girl is 4 today, well, at 21:08 this evening (shall I make her wait for her pressies until then hehe) she's amazing, she's everything I wished she would be, confident, happy, bright and beautiful. She is the girliest girl ever, she loves princesses and all things pink. She's a talented little artist and an amazing little learner. This last year, we have moved house, returned her to nursery, given her a baby sister and she's taken it all in her stride - a few hiccups along the way, but year on year, she's a fabulous little lady. I am so so proud of her.

You know what I love about her the most .. moments like earlier today when she just looks at me, holds my head in her hands and stares at me with complete love in her eyes and says, "Mummy, I love you sooo much, up to the planets, and the moon and the stars and back again.". Well, my baby Clara, I love YOU right to the very end of the universe and back again.

x

And .. so the picture is her birthday cake - she decided (finally, after lots of decision changes) that she wanted a flounder cake, I'm not a professional cake maker but I think this is pretty good. I want to wake her to show it to her :)