Beginning to see the light

More Reu.

Flying solo, Hans Solo, Valerie Singleton, Norman No Mates. It's a stretch 5 days and nights in and one more to go. The house is a tip but trying to at least keep it clean. I have no night nurse anymore, awaiting a new one to start. Feel for Reu so much, this morning another huge reflux hour, throw ups, making me think school would be off. But somehow, despite his tears throughout, and mine with him, he pulls through. Callum looks on full of concern and empathy. The fondoplication stomach surgery at 10 weeks old never did any good, nor do the 12 doses of medication I'm giving him today, nor the 4 breathing treatments. He sings "Good morning to you", his school song, whilst Callum sings "Bye bye everybody" ending with him shrieking "bye bye friends!", much as he does at school. Tried to nap at school in the parent room but there was pounding at the door. At least for the next two days I have Callum at UCLA school and I can at least eat a good meal at Whole Foods.

But Reu always finds the light, I guess much like his Mama in the end. A quick run around in the garden for Callum before bathtime whilst Reuben was more than content just watching him. It feels important to me to try to capture something beautiful in a day. Right now I'm worrying, Am I doing enough educationally for the boys, especially when looking back at clips of Reuben sitting so patiently as a young toddler and signing away contentedly. Does he miss those times; does he crave more one on one learning from me. I try.

Waiting for the breathing treatment to finish upstairs before I head to bed...

God bless him and keep him safe.