'All the world is a stage and all the men and wome

This picture is on the wall of my bedroom and was a present for one of my lovely friends jen for my 18th birthday. That seems like such a long time ago now. I've always been a fan of Marilyn Monroe and anyone who knows me can vouch for that, but this picture really gets to me, because it's the exact same picture but in different colours. It makes me think of her and her life and the different masks she would have for different people, situations. I feel right now that I can totally relate. I try to be what others want me to be instead of being myself, although I don't really know who that is right now. Like Marilyn in this picture, my colours change several times a day, and in my quest for the impossible - trying to please everyone all the time - I know longer have control over anything, so I seek that control in other ways. The saying 'you can be surrounded by people, but be very much alone' springs to mind. As a performer, you seek that closeness from others you perform with, during a show you build relationships, ones that you can't understand unless you have experienced them. You share so much time together and work hard to achieve the same thing. You share the most amazing feeling in the world, being on stage, performing with them. But with the exhilarating highs comes the devastating lows, when it is all over... I need to learn to be happy with myself, to be content when I am on my own, I know I can't always be surrounded by people. Yet right now, even being around people is not enough and I don't know what is...?