There are days ...

There are days when I wonder about what it will take... how far I will push myself... to get where I know I need to go. How many more days will I have to spend locked away studying and memorizing? And how many more times will I have to tell Ellie "no, Mommy's studying" when she wants to play? How much longer will my body have to suffer because of my inactivity? How much longer will I mentally beat myself up over it? How many more important days will I miss back home? I wonder if I will ever get to visit my older sister in the hospital when she's just had a baby. Am I really going to be the aunt, the sister, the daughter, the friend, the girlfriend who was never around? How many more relationships will I destroy by simply not being there? How many more people will get pushed away? And will no one ever be able to keep up with me? Am I too driven? I hope not.
I guess all I know is that I have to do this. Maybe once I get my DVM, it'll all be a bit clearer.