Empty head

I just don't know what to think at the moment.

I seem to be under more intense pressure than usual, certainly more than I ever allow myself to feel. There is so much to do, so little time in which to get it done and the massive uncertainty with regard to future work that is the permanent trademark the construction industry. This last point seems so much more significant to me at the moment as basically a one man band business but with huge responsibility to family and employees.

I usually bottle this stuff up and keep it to myself, you know, brave face and all that, because as we all know, there are many many people in the world that are much worse off than us right?

Whilst the statement I have just made is absolutely correct I am also acutely aware that each man/womans worries are their own and can be very significant to them, regardless of how onlookers perceive them. Perhaps this is also significant to another blip today.

I don't have an answer for this and I am not even sure I asked a question but having seen such sadness on this site again today, with recent losses, I am struggling to find the joy that there should be in life.

The image today is therefore important to me. It is a clay head that my son made at school many years ago. It is a strange looking thing and hangs on the wall next to me in my home office. I have stared at it endlessly and always struggled to figure out the expression, to me it is empty, devoid of feeling and emotion.

But....it is a work of art to me, from my son. This is important because our children are the future and they are so positive in their outlook. They are so bright and excited about what lies ahead that it can be infectious. I want that bug tonight so we are off out for an impromptu dinner to see if I can catch it.

Open ranting is not for me and I am uncertain about all that I have written above. If it seems too self centred, feel free to let me know, and I apologise.