you'll never leave

I've not stayed in very many Bs&Bs or guest houses but the few I've seen from the inside have been more than sufficient to reinforce the popular stereotypes of such establishments as portrayed and parodied in various media. The presence of at least one form of signage or paradigm of decoration from at least two decades in the past have to make do when the manner or attitude of the staff cannot be determined when merely passing by outside.

I don't know if the owners of the place we stayed in either in York a few years back (for one of the failed attempts at watching my dad go up in the hot-air balloon trip we bought him for his sixtieth) or a couple of years before that in Bowness (for the second ever meeting-of-the-future-in-laws) had seen the League of Gentlemen either on stage or on television but the little rhyming mnemonic they had developed to aid clients' identification of different keys didn't do their slight weirdness any favours when it instantly brought to mind the Dentons' towel-application rhyme.