Bleeding Hearts

"Pay mind to your own life, your own health, and wholeness.
A bleeding heart is of no help to anyone if it bleeds to death."

-Frederick Buechner
(American writer and theologian)

I am working on taking these wise words to heart. To my heart, literally.

I had a massage today and the therapist talked to me about mindfulness, and re-directing my response to the recent catastrophes in my life. I have been in a loop where the only possible outcome is total breakdown of the system, my system. My heart.

In other words, I need to not let it get to me so much. My "fight or fly" reflex has been working overtime, and I need to minimize this.

I see the truth of it, and knew it already. Somehow panic just galloped away with me and I was quickly lost, out of control, caught up in the whirlwind.

Did you know that when you think of a lion chasing you, your body responds exactly the same way as if the lion actually IS chasing you? Your heart races, your glands produce panicky chemicals, your muscles tense. Animals "shake it off," as soon as the chase ends, and go happily on their way. But we humans tend to replay the scene in our minds, over and over, and become frozen in the bad moment.

So I am meditating on serenity (Lake Sebago is my mantra) and trying to abort the negative thoughts when they pop up their nasty serpent heads.

Two heart tests coming up tomorrow and another on Thursday.

Sebago....Sebago....Sebago.....Sebago.....ahhhhhhhhhhh!


xo
G