beautiful

(picture taken at this date but blog written on May 17, 2011)

hectic. weeks. Thus explains the crappy quality picture I took from my phone. But what camera can ever capture the perfectness of God's creation?

Still unpacking and cleaning my new apartment so haven't had time to really sit down and edit pictures and everything. Who can when boxes and random stuff are all piled up around you?!

Chapter Focus Week in Michigan was a blessing though. The Cedar campus was a BEAUTY. I couldn't but just be in awe of what God created for us.

On the third day or so, I took a walk with God. I was in a pretty bad mood and I knew God was whispering to me, "Take a walk with me. I missed that."

And oh, how I missed it too. At first, as stubborn as I am, I didn't listen and just blabbered. Finally after finding another place by the lakeshore, I sat down at a rock and sobbed. But when it was finally all quiet, I felt peace. I forgot to be still and to listen. God comforted me that day and walked back with me. God was wooing me once again through His peace.


Two days ago, I wrote a note on facebook:

"CFW was such a blessing. Learned so much through the small group leader track and probably still processing. There?s just this one question I couldn?t get out of my head from studying Luke.

What is forgiveness?

How much are you willing to sacrifice in order to forgive? To be forgiven?

Why is it so hard to forgive?

Swallowing down your bitterness, your pride in order to forgive, is that considered the right way to do it?

Why do you have to hide so much hurt and pain when you forgive? Do you have to in the first place?

How does it feel to be forgiven? To fully grasp and understand that you are forgiven?

As much as I can ponder and ask these questions to myself, the only answer I was able to come up with: I don?t deserve forgiveness. I never had.

But because of the love I undeservingly received, I earned it without having to give back anything except to respond to that love.

Just like the woman who broke her alabaster jar before Jesus? feet and wept and wiped them with her hair, I too long to be in that position. So many of my alabaster jars in life I have not yet willing to break before Him and yet He?s still patiently waiting for me to.

This whole? forgiveness thing sounds so simple yet, I can?t process it. It?s still unfathomable. Yet we still take it ungranted and live each day forgetting of this amazing gift.

We?re all sinners loved by someone who doesn?t have to love us in the first place.

Unfathomable."


"...she brought an alabaster jar of perfume, and as she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears." Luke 7:37-38