No Safe Haven

This is the big walk-in cupboard in one of the rooms I teach in. There's a big sign on the door that says 'No Student Entry' and it's been my safe haven for over 13 years, the place I can go when I need to count to ten before saying or doing something I'd probably regret. It's got me out of a few scrapes and, in one memorable incident in particular, preserved my dignity.

Can't believe I'm going to share this, but here goes...

Way back, probably around the first or second year of teaching when I still wore a shirt and a tie, I had been happily wandering around the room supporting a busy class of Graphic Design students beavering away on their Umax Mac clones and QuarkXpress. As I circled around the desks I became aware of something against my calf and, without thinking, flicked my my foot to try and dislodge whatever it was. Bad move. In horror I looked down to see a pair of Marks and Spencers' finest gent's briefs dangling from the bottom of my trousers. It would seem that in reckless haste to rid myself of the working clothes the previous night I had whipped everything off in one swift movement without separating the garments. The next morning I'd jumped into my trousers and the underpants had slipped down the right leg and lodged themselves there temporarily, that is, until they worked there way down towards the light and I shook them free in the middle of the classroom here. So, after a 'brief' pause I asked the students to do something along the lines of saving a copy of their work onto their floppies and, whilst they were all turned facing their screens, I shuffled delicately into this cupboard to remove the offending (offensive?) garment. They may even still be in there somewhere...

Anyhow, today when I looked in the cupboard I noticed a hand written sign pinned on the wall warning me I was being watched. And, considering the number of colleagues that have been taken out by the efficiency sniper today, it's left me with a strange feeling of paranoia. Even my safe haven's compromised nowadays.

And that's just pants.