woohoo!

ok, official weigh-in day is sunday, so this is not an actual measurement - but it's the first time i've been under 12 stone in *years* and i had to mark it!

when i came back to edinburgh in summer 2005 i weighed well over 13 stone - i have no idea how much as i didn't dare get on the scales. when i did dare, on 28 may 2006 (i wrote it down), i weighed 13st 10lb (= 192lb, or 87kg). at 5ft 4in, that's red on every chart. weight, BMI, waist circumference, waist-hip ratio, body fat percentage - however you measured me i was in the red, obese, 'you're eating yourself to death'. and that was about several months after deciding to eat marginally better and do a bit of walking, during which i know i lost a few pounds.

since then i've vowed at least once a year to get fit, eat less, be thinner. pre my pal D's wedding in sept 2007, i spent about eight months going to the gym and lost a few pounds and an inch round the middle - which i promptly put back on, and a bit more, in the following few months when i did nothing. i went back to the gym the next spring, vowing once more to eat less, move more and be thinner. in 2009, ditto.

i went back to the gym, with some assistance from N for a change, in march 2010, vowing the usual. i lasted til the end of june, and tho i only lost a couple of pounds i was on the cusp of actually starting to get into a routine and almost like doing it when work exploded and i didn't go back for more than four months. the next few months were also a write-off - i went sporadically, but told myself i needed N's help again and since that wasn't available i couldn't do anything (yes, i know, how much of a kick up the arse did i need?!).

finally, i figured it out: the only person who can help me do this is me. so i bought a new set of scales, dug out a notebook to keep a food diary, and vowed that this time i would look at what i put in my mouth and then think about the exercise later - i'd tried so many times to do it the other way round, and been disappointed when the weight/inches didn't shift more than marginally. my training guru pal says it just takes getting the right combination but food is as important as exercise to get right, so this time i decided to listen. (i've got myself a wee nike+ kit which also helps with the motivation - seeing the stats on even a short walk helps somehow. but that's still secondary for now.)

it works. writing down everything i eat makes me aware of how many calories and how much carbs, protein and fat (and to start with sugar and salt) i eat. short answer: too much. so eat less - eat *differently*. a few people have asked what i'm doing, and though it's flippant it's true: eating about 400-500 calories a day less makes a difference. seriously - i was eating about 1800-2000 calories a day. now, that's the recommended level - but i sit on my arse all day in an office, so all i'm doing is maintaining my (literally) fat arse at that. to get thinner i have to eat less.

it's bloody hard sometimes, and sometimes i don't eat what i know i should. but a lot of the time i do, and i've lost about 11lb since 2 january to show for it. if i worked harder at it, was more rigid with portions and did more exercise i'd probly have lost more. but i've lost some, and haven't felt like i've deprived myself, which suggests to me that i'll be able to keep it up and keep improving gradually. not so much diet as fundamental change of eating habits (and changing attitude to food - oh boy do i have a complex relationship with food!) is the goal.

fingers crossed...