Lies to tell small children

"Wine makes mummy clever"

I have a great little book called "Great lies to tell small kids" by Andy Riley which is a series of cartoons based around one liners such as the one above.
He is also the author of a series of books called "The bunny suicides" which are just wrong but funny cartoons - I think the subject matter is probably apparent from the title. He has also written for "Black Books", "Little Britain" and "Trigger Happy TV".

My favourites:
* Milk feels pain
* Put a slice of ham in the DVD player - it will play a short film about pigs. (A slice of cheese will play a short film about cows).
*Strictly speaking the tomato is not a vegetable - it is really a kind of dolphin.
* Men don't go bald naturally - they just like having their hair cut that way.
* 1 in 10 fish are afraid of water

You can see the level that I am functioning at currently.

Came home to a lovely clean house courtesy of "super-husband". Showered, sat on the bed and read for a bit and found myself waking up at 9.25 this evening. I have earache and my throat is closing up. However, the lurgy is NOT going to get me, nor is it going to spoil my plans to visit my brother at the weekend.

So, not only does wine make mummy clever, it is also going to have to be used as medicine to cure her sore throat. Illness be damned - you can just go away.

(You might have detected that my feisty-ness has reappeared - that is a good thing)