Forgive Me, for I have Sinned

This afternoon his Lordship and I are in hiding. We are hiding from a couple who are threatening to descend on us and rob us of the will to live.
We are not answering the phone or the bell, and staying clear of the windows. We may well pull down the blinds.
These sound extremely brutal measures, but are purely self preservation moves.

To be fair, these two are well doing, good, honest, God fearing Rotarians, but very boring. I have known one of them for 50 years, and nothing has changed.

They believe in monologues, and no effort on our part can deflect them from their chosen path in that monologue. Try as we might, there is no way we have found to break into their slow, self congratulatory delivery. They talk, we listen, and stifle a yawn or three. Think Christmas letter, and that sums it up.

To be in their company for 3 hours , which is the time it takes for them to say goodbye, is akin to having an extended out of body experience.

I answered their phone call a few nights ago which told me of their imminent arrival in Edinburgh and was caught on the phone for 45 minutes while I listened to all their latest news. I feel up to date with their goings on and really don't need any further enlightenment.

It could all be so different. We could laugh and joke and enjoy a glass of wine together while having a proper dialogue. That we would enjoy, but not a meeting when we hear about the route up from south of the border including every road number and road works including diversions, and every sneeze of each of their family members.

Now you have to agree that is boring, so boring that I lied and said we had visitors leaving today and might not be available, but to phone and check to see if we would be at home.
I feel very bad and very guilty.

Mea Culpa , mea culpa, mea culpa. Pass me my hair shirt.