Chained...

to my mortgage, my job, my previous financial commitments. Luckily I wasn't chained to the royal blue chair that was used as a backdrop here.

Been out today in the Muxmobile (the company / mums car has the number plate S555 MUX because of her maiden name. Muxlow) signing up candidates and basically enjoying my day. Leaving at 4pm for a check up on the old grey matter before home for an invigorating evening of sitting about lamenting times gone by. Aaah, bliss.

The other day I surprised quite a few people by revealing I kept fish, which many said was a bit of a shock coming from me. I decided today to just fire off a list of other things that may or may not surprise you. I've dropped two red herrings in though, a special prize (well not a prize as such, more ummm... well, nothing actually) to anyone who can spot the odd ones out.

I sing to myself in the car and have the same 50 songs on repeat on my MP3 player. My current penchant is for Jamie T.

I used to keep guinea pigs in a home built run in my spare room. However after my favourite (Sedgemore) died I struggled to motivate myself and eventually gave up in November 2007 after Sooty passed.

I was once on Ant and Dec and gave Robbie Williams my autograph.

I've only ever been arrested twice and as yet haven't seen the inside of a police cell.

I'm the chairman of our local 'positive vibes' community club which aims to make everyone mile by never having a bad word to say about anyone at all ever. Our uniform is the colour of sunshine and covered in smiles. My codename is 'The Gladness Machine'.

(Some know this already but others may not immediately link me with it) I am a fully qualified Clinical Hypnotherapist. I stopped my old man smoking after 40 years.

I carved a niche for myself treating cannabis smokers who wanted to keep rocking the ganja but didn't want to have tobacco with it. After 'curing' four or five people I stopped doing this as I wasn't being paid in cash ;)

I was't getting sexual favours either in case thats what you were thinking.

I once went out with a girl who got to the final of Britains Got Talent. If she'd won I would have created a lurid story about horrible things she did to me and sold it to the Sun. Probably.

I love cooking and am a dab hand at Monkfish wrapped in parma ham. I have my own created chicken dish as well that I like to call 'Chicken in a tomato type sauce with some other bits in it covered in cheese'. I can't think of anything catchier than that.

I have five tattoos, none of which I like.

I had my eybrow pierced as well as my ear (twice) and my lip (well I wore a broken earring in my lip and pretended). I stopped this behaviour in 2001 when I realised it made me look a right cock.

My favourite city in the world other than Lincoln is either Siena or Florence. I'd like to have been born Italian.

I fancy Jordan.

There you go peeps. Two false facts, the rest are true. Enjoy the rest of this scintillating day we refer to as 'Wednesday'. Interesting fact about Wednesday: It is exactly the same distance from the end of the week as the start of it. Bet you never knew that.