burdened

Yeah...it's been a long time. I haven't forgotten about blip. Never really took time to really sit down to write it all down. It's because lots happened and I guess the past pictures I took were pictures that either overlapped with my old entries or none can describe what I've been through.


I feel so lost. Within myself.


It's like I've become such a bitter person these past few weeks that I don't know what to do with the growing bitterness within me. So I've been just swallowing them down and I guess this week, I couldn't handle it anymore.

Ever since my heartbreak and now school, it just feels like people or certain events keeps pushing and urging me that I have to heal faster, get over my heartbreak faster.

Money is such a cruel thing to live with.

My family's not rich. We were never rich. But God always provided with enough for what we need. Not more, not less and I've been grateful.
But why is this year so hard?
I just feel like a burden to my parents because they have to pay for my schooling, my summer classes (which is a ridiculous amount), my apartment rent, and then themselves including the loans. I got a side weekend job and I told them I want to pay for the utilities and everything else by myself but I know it's not enough.


It's just... ugh. Too much. Too much. Too much.


My heart feels so heavy.

I just feel like I keep failing and failing and failing. Everyone, everything and Him.

And there's no one to comfort me anymore.



I feel so alone.