An evening stroll

Disclaimer: I know I haven't visited any of you of late, it's just how things are right now so thanks for being here now.

I count the little steps that the boys are able to make by themselves that add up to some sense of relief, to a hill that's not so big to climb. Taking the milk out of the fridge, putting soap in the dishwasher and turning it on, going to the potty by themselves (sometimes), brushing their teeth, washing their hands. And then there are things that don't help so much. I'm by myself for a week and the night nurse didn't show on Friday so I find myself in a cycle of diapers, making meals that Callum won't eat, cleaning, getting the boys to tidy up after themselves, reading, potty training, meds, 2 hourly feeds for Reuben and several times up through the night for his care. Pretty exhausting. And the things that don't help like Callum hiding stones in his nostrils. And admist it all and my envitable frustrations, we find time for singing and signing and I marvel at how Reuben's expressive spoken language is coming on. "Hello, how are you?" to strangers and "All by yourself" to me, preempting my delight as Callum crawls up into his car seat, which of course he's been doing for a while, but which Reuben is now able to say. I must be a run down record with the things I keep saying as the words keep coming back to me from the two little boy mouths.

I so longed for a nap today and I laid down in the bedroom upstairs hoping they'd want to sleep too, and whilst Reuben and I succumbed momentarily to sleep snuggled together, me thinking, oh wonderful, Callum was having none of it and insisted on using his toy drill in our ears.

After a very late and thoroughly great night at my cousin Barrie's celebrating my 2nd cousin Cameron's graduation to high school, the disco lights twinkling on the boys faces and Reuben running around trying to catch the balls of green and red, we did little today and I didn't have the heart for the eternal freeway journeys and thus missed mass.

Just this evening, we drove the 5 minutes to the wetlands and found this lovely trail by the playground we now love which skirts a little stream leading to the adjacent ocean. There are some delightful places in the urban mass when you know where to look. I had always thought this part of the wetlands off limits, often skirting it in search of a walk of solace and today finding one. As the boys tell me they hear the birds singing, I find myself imagining how the Ballona Wetlands would have looked here before the advent of development. It doesn't stay so awash with flowers and lush into the summer. We have entered the long dry summer of rainless days till late October and the greens will soon turn to their desert earthiness.

I was fortunate today to capture some images of the boys together that I adore. The hugs, the runaways, the big smiles. And all the little things that little big boys do. This one feels rather perfect to me in its mood.

I'm incredibly behind on everything else so note that you're not forgotten dear readers, as when the boys are finally asleep, I want little more than to go to bed, tucked up with GV's Once Upon a Time, knowing it's only a short matter of time before my alarm sounds for a night feed and the morning comes for a whole new day...
BackBlip... Reuben in the mirror