Putting together the pieces

Spent a couple of hours today building these shelves. It was great fun. I got to use my drill, which is something I always enjoy. Erin and I went to the movies, that was fun too! Saw bridesmaids, finally. Laughed!!

Starting to feel better. It's been tricky finding my feelings after Tori left. I know that sounds weird, but my way of dealing is to first allow myself to feel nothing and then to control carefully how much I feel at a time. It's a coping mechanism I probably developed as a kid when the facts and circumstances were too much to process.

I've been a hider and a fixer most of my life with little moments of hoping someone will see what's really going on and help me somehow. But two years ago I somehow realized that hiding and fixing is harmful to the soul. So I traded in those two traits for one that was better.

Now I'm a builder. I'm a new builder though, so give me time to be awesome (she says to herself).

Grateful for:
A solid foundation to build upon that was probably poured before I was three by two loving parents. I think I probably got the best of them. Sorry to the sibs.

A toolbox with everything I need inside

Experiences to learn from, and the ability to remember the good times

The dearest friends I've ever had in my life just a phone call away

That I'm not in pieces. :)