doe, a deer...

do you ever have days when you decide you're going to follow a new path? you wake up thinking... i've got to try a different tactic? not that the old hasn't been working... just that perhaps you need a new venue - a change of scenery - a mind shift...

ever since my accident last year, i've been struggling with aspects of ptsd and driving has been especially difficult... one thing we decided in therapy was that maybe i should venture out on the roads at hours of the day when there would be very little traffic... to help me get back that sense of freedom and escape i used to have with being in my car. it's been a long time since i've had the wherewithall to get to the garden park, so i figured i'd get up really early this morning and venture out... when i thought few vehicles would be around. see what success i'd have. i wasn't thinking of success with my camera at all...

i cranked up a cd... opened the sunroof on the car to let in the early morning cool air - and off i went. i admit anxiety still plagued me... but traffic was light and the idea was worth it for sure. as i tried to lose myself in the music, i pulled in to the park and began to think ahead about my blip for the day.

no sooner did that thought enter my mind than did i see a deer - right to the side of my car... in the grasses... imagine my excitement - and joy! what a treat... what a treasure... raising its head, looking directly at me and waiting for me to reach for my camera; it didn't move. i didn't breathe... i think i got about 3 shots off before head down - off it darted... i sat back, heart beating rapidly. camera success!

how many opportunities do we miss out on because we do not dare... because we do not venture out... because we do not risk... because we're afraid to take that first step. i realize my ptsd isn't going to just magically disappear because i saw a deer this morning. but i do recognize the value in branching out - in problem-solving my situation and taking risks even when it's scary and anxiety producing. i must continue to do these things if i want to move on and experience life in its fullest form.

plus, maybe now i'll be able to buy those new sandals i've had my eye on...

happy day.....