Judas

My mannequins are still on a break. The weather just hasn't been good enough to take them out, and there's not enough natural light to use near windows. Doom and gloom here. On with my entry...

I knew it wouldn't last. I get a few good days, and then everything comes crashing down again. I'm rather thrown by today's event. Yes. Event. Singular. It was a rather slow, boring day.

What got to me? My best friend. Or, supposed/ex best friend.
We have been friends a LONG time. And apparently my friendship is worth less than a rocky, on again/off again relationship with a woman who keeps giving him the "it's me, or her" ultimatum. He's refused to pick, until now. He chose her...
If she actually gave a damn about him, she wouldn't make him cut out an important part of his life, just because she's an insecure, control freak troll. So, he and I may have dated for a while... We may have done things that people in relationships do. SO?! We're not dating now. We realised being couple-y wasn't for us. It didn't ruin the friendship. It made us stronger... Or so I thought.

So, imagine this. We've hardly seen each other lately because of the girlfriend, and the fact he works a lot of hours a week. I get a text from him saying he's passing by, and did I want a flying visit? YES!! Everything is fine. Hugs. Laughter. Cheek kisses. It was only half an hour. But it was just good to see him.
A few hours later, I have an inbox message from him on facebook. "I adore you. You are an amazing woman, and you have given me so much. But I have to start growing up. I need to be a good boyfriend, and <girlfriend's name> isn't comfortable with our friendship. I have to do what's right for her. I'll miss you."
Aaaaand, he blocked me. All I read into that is "I am a coward, and a guaranteed shag is more important."

I feel betrayed. And it feels a bit Judas-esque. Judas greeted Jesus with an embrace. Judas BETRAYED Jesus with that embrace.
I hope the 'friend' gets good value from the payment for the betrayal. It better be worth it.

Rather than get worked up, bitchy and teary about it, I vented in the form of drawing. Which is today's blip.
Judas became Jude. I'm better at female form than male form. And for those that know what happened with Judas, I decided to tone it down... People who don't know will just think she's watching a sunset or something... -cough-

Not saying that's what I want to happen to the friend, just for the record... I love him. I will miss him. But for now, I just feel like everything has been a lie.

"So don't try to say you're sorry,
Or try to make it right.
Don't waste your breath because it's too late, it's too late...
You can look into my eyes and pretend all you want,
But I know, I know,
Your love is just a lie."
~ Your Love Is A Lie - Simple Plan