koi fish

i (shockingly) started a piece of art work willingly the other night. just a concept.

today i opened it up and started on it.. finished both koi (as far as i want to right now, maybe more touch ups later, lighting & shadows & such)

havent started on the water, or the possible lotus flowers...

i've never ever drawn anything like this in my life, i'm fairly proud of it.. and the fact that it doesn't suck..

i'm a bit tired... mentally i suppose... i've been freaking out over money & crap.. i owe mom rent (past due) and i'm barely getting 15 hrs a week at work.. and i have to save first & last for an apartment for september.. which at this rate, for an 800$ apartment, i need to be saving 400$ a pay! & i'm only getting 100-150$

plus now i owe the dentist just over 100$

sigh.. i applied for more jobs today. i'm going to have to speak to my boss soon about getting more hours (unlikely)

my body has been pretty fucked up lately too. the combination of my birth control pills & the antibiotics i've been on because of my tooth has caused me to have my period 3 times in 6 weeks... like... oh my fucking god.

i've cried a good 4-5 times today.. it's just too much.. and i feel like a fuck up.