I'm dreaming of an eggy peggy.

After a very frustrating hour trying to book a Travelodge in darkest England on a electronic voice prompt line, I phoned the helpline.

Me - I want to book a room on the dicount offer price

Helpline - sorry I cant give you the discount on this line you'll have to book it on the offer line.

Me - I've tried that it doesnt seem to recognise my name.

Helpline - use a different name.

Me - What do you mean???

Helpline - well a name like smith or jones

Me - what do I do when I arrive and produce my credit card with the different name.

Helpline - it's ok nobody will bother

Me - this is madness