62/62 First night

A very strange place today. Home or Away. Or just still a bit in the middle. Officially I have emigrated, the problem is that I've had to come back so soon for work. It doesn't feel like I've been away, but things have changed. Likewise, I'm away from my new home, but having spent such short time there, that doesn't feel quite like home no matter how much I try to make it home yet.

There has always been this trip back to the UK in the middle to quite simply; fuck things up.

And it's not like this trip back is a bad thing either. I get to travel across Europe for the next two months over nearly all the best roads Europe has to offer. What's not to like? But I've done this for so long that it almost gets routine. However, start of every work season I need to remove those "routine" feelings. My job allows me a huge amount of freedom, and come Saturday I will be back in the groove and looking forward to the next 2 months.

Yet I long for this season to be over before it's even started. I'm away from my wife, I'm away from my new home, and I'm away from our cats. And one of the cats is desperately ill which makes things even worse.

I long for the day that I'm on my Charlotte flight, and the runway rolls along and we touch down. Home is such a short distance after that.

Some people worry that I won't like settling down. I haven't settled properly since 2002. I had a year up in the air, and then met a very special person. And since then, I've never been able to grow roots. 8 years as one of life's nomads, and some people think that I'll suddenly miss being a nomad. Doesn't really help that work really does make me that nomad for 2 months of a year.

But today, I'm back in the UK, preparing to become a nomad once again. The calendar has swung round, time to make some adventures.

There is also the small problem that people are pleased to see me again. But thats so difficult when I don't want to be here. My family and friends are fantastic, but this isn't the place I want to be. I have my special person waiting at my new home and I just want to be with her for a bit. I love seeing my friends and family, but just being here is so hard. There is no balance right now.