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Dear Deirdre,

A subject box that read free beer made me open the email immediately. They were looking for male case studies to talk about being present at their child's birth. I agreed, gave 'em an interview and a picture and a couple of mis-quotes/interpertations later and bingo we're in the paper. Beer didn't show up but I might get some cake. I feel used and let-down. I want beer not cake. What should I do?

Male, Edinburgh, 28 (cough)



To be fair - misquotes aside, I'm chuffed that the wee story is in our local paper and feel some editing requirements meant they narrowed two quotes down to "slightly nervous" and "slightly squeamish".

I read this article recently and it doesn't come anywhere near to what that professes.

For the record I was neither sqeamish nor nervous. Perhaps I alluded to some nervousness when recalling some distress for the bairn (I was nervous then, at that point, but that was hours and hours after all the other shenanigans) - but squeamish? ....... I love a bit of blood and gore, especially my own but I had no intention of getting the wife's all over me.

Whether men are at the birth or not is very much something the man should decide not the British public. Judging a man because he didn't stand and get covered in blood, uterus and after-birth at that end of the delivery room is ridiculous. I didn't cut the cord because it seemed a completely unnecessary thing for me to do. "You're the one with scalpels, scissors and blood all over you Doc and I'm up this end rubbing the wife's heid so cut away yerself there big man." (I actually don't think I was getting the option in the situation we ended up in anyway.)

Surely the fella being in the room at his wife's side is enough without going down the Quentin Tarantino end of the production. I wasn't allowed down there at this point because it was a c-section and didn't see any of the gore beyond the green screen.

And if there are still women who disagree and think the man ought to be there cos he played his part in the situation, well, should I insist that the missus holds my hand the next time I'm at the dentist getting a stinker of a filling cos of all those sugary buns (of the non-baby kind) she bakes me in her other oven?
"Oh darling, it would mean so much to me if you adminstered the anaesthetic to my gums. And please, soothe my brow as he drills."

Likewise - men being given a bed in the hospital for the duration of new mum's stay in hospital is another silly suggestion. Of all the people that need our precious hospital beds, virile spunky men wouldn't even register. Sleep on the floor if you wanna hang around!



Speaking of umbilical cords - the Forth Road Bridge is closed one way - blocked by a lorry (turned over or something).