On a day like this

I've been such lazy commenting back lately, though people still keep commenting here. It's very kind, really, so I'll try to catch up next month, honestly! However, there are still many people who are checking this journal everyday or at least once a week without commenting or never registering here. It's strange and more strange it gets when I know who those people actually are.

I know that some of those people are those whom I thought to be my friends a long time ago - but I had to realize that they're not. Those people whom I've known for over 15 years - or have I really known? I'm not sure. We never really had anything in common. I was just the common object to laugh at, when other children were bored. At times I was given the honour to play somebody's spare friend, when their actual best friend wasn't around - when the best friend came back I was told to go away. And so I did.

Well, I've been away. For 11 long years, actually, and I'm not coming back if you're asking. However, there has been times when I've just wished that I had had the right tools to solve the situations and complexes I had been thrown to. But I was never given those bravery and strong vocal expression until these days. I'm quite sure that if things were meant to be contrary to what they're like today, they would be so.

I've been laughed at. I've been told to grow up and not to talk about "wrong" things. I've been pitied, mocked and picked on. I've been called sick, stupid, whore, pathetic, moron, uppity and nearly anything you can imagine. There never was a rational reason for any of those actions and none of them never helped me in my life.

What did I do? Well, nothing. I didn't say anything against what I was said. I never mocked or avenged to somebody because they did what they did. Dismantling one's bad mood to somebody else doesn't work and I know that. Still people think that it would. A very wise man I know once said that people are always the same, they don't change. However, he added that an individual can still make a difference. I bet he's right with his sayings.

I was born shy, stuttering, small, stark-eyed, odd-haired and with many diseases. I didn't ask for that nor did I ask for the garbage somebody thinks I've deserved. Nobody should be put into situations like those I've seen. Still I don't see a reason to hate people for what they've done, because hatred leads nowhere and people - they're always the same.

I wrote this just because I can and I dare. This is also just one of the reasons I want to become a teacher - I want to help children and I want to teach my favourite language of all time (which is English, by the way). Somebody may think that I should be more ambitious, but that's what I've decided to do.

Everybody's still welcome to read and browse my journal - that's bringing me more and more views and I'll be breaking 200,000 soon, lol!

Ps. I just ordered a new objective!