From the Liverpool Docks to the Hollyrood Bowl*

Therapist: Well, Mr Smith, after a treatment like that we recommend that you drink plenty of water for the rest of the day, eat a light meal and don't touch alcohol for at least 24 hours.

Me: After a treatment like that luv I'm going to go home and get absolutely shit-faced.

When I did get home Mrs Smith has broken someone's finger, she claims accidentally but I've seen her on the mean streets with a leather bullet belt wrapped round her fist so the jury's out. But she has saved us £225 ( that's right £225) on our home insurance by shopping around. And the twins had both been voted onto the school councils they wanted to get on and for which they had been rehearsing their speeches for on the way into school this morning. The eldest had also rounded off her first successful week at high school with a meditation class.

All things considered, an Edinburgh ale in a Liverpool glass seemed the way to go. Well, it made as much sense as anything else.

*one for the old Mott fans. If there are any.