You would, if you could.

I've had to break off my cathedral series I'm afraid. Two reasons.

1: 70 stars yesterday. I can't top that.
2: More seriously I haven't been into Lincoln today.

That means (for the more astute of you) that I haven't been to work. Why would I not go to work? Oh I dunno, maybe something like me being well and truly stung.

A few weeks ago I had a discussion with my boss that ended with me suggesting I find alternative employment. He readily agreed and we said I could start to look for work. A week later he asked me to write a resignation letter, which was 'just to keep things clean'. I did and left things like the date out, saying I would commence searching for alternative employment.

He then wrote me a reply and took me to a quiet part of our building to give me it. In it he had written I had to be gone by the end of August. He said this was again just to 'keep things clean' and if I hadn't found anything by the end of August he would pay me week to week.

Yesterday he told me I have until next Friday, then I'm gone.

I don't think there's any need for me to explain anything more. In the last 13 months I've had the company vehicle I was given taken off me, the company mobile I was given not only taken off me but then scoured for my personal numbers: these numbers were then called to find out who they were.

I've had 62gb of my own files wiped from a laptop I was told I could use personally.

I've had bollockings for things that I haven't be allowed to defend myself for. I once took an hours lunchbreal to deliver some cards to one of our customers, and as suchdidn't actually get a lunch. I returned to the office and grabbed some toast: I got a bollocking for it.

I've been docked pay for going to a funeral despite my boss knowing about it. I've been called a 'twat' in front of a new member of staff on his first day. I've been battered from pillar to post.

So today I wandered around my local woods, where I usually go for quiet contemplation. I've started the wheels moving for my own business idea. Now I'm am sat here wondering how the fuck I'm going to pay my bills and keep a roof over both mine and my Mums head.

So I ask two things of you today. Please.

1. Anyone with any experience of employment law, please could you drop me an email so I can pick your brains.

2. Anybody who is a smoker please would you consider filling in a short questionairre for me?

I can be contacted at gary@redimps.com.

Thanks y'all, and I'd like to propose a toast. To Karma.