The South Col - Basecamp

At an altitude of approximately 150' above sea level the exhausted Pack Russell Toots is held by Sherpa Mrs Booty prior to being led on an attempt on the perilous worn footpath to the summit of St Agnes Beacon, North Cornwall. Unfortunately the imminent arrival of a brisk rain shower and the tempting warmth of the car at the base camp was enough to cause the attempt to be aborted.

Snug in front of the TV prior to the Belgian GP the expedition leader, Dipstick O'Toole, told the assembled hordes of "Meejah" that there would be other days when he would once again decide that failure was preferable to fatigue and triumph.

More from our Gucci Raingear correspondent, Shalwar Letsfreeze, " It's bluddy cold 'ere 'innit?"


(Yes the world has tilted on it's axis, don't worry, be happy)