Rain,swans and boats

A New Boat
by Jeff Swan

I have felt a black hole in my heart many times.
Sometimes it has been so large that it sucked
my soul into a slough of despond so great
that I felt darkness was the universe
and I was drowning with arms swimming
to a surface that I could not see.

Through the years I have learned
to take myself to special places
to keep that hole from spreading
into every aspect of my life.

Perhaps a little fishing village
few know the name of.
Or perhaps a large mountain
with white peaks year around.

Sometimes when I cannot escape myself
I look at a bug through a magnifying glass.
Study the contours, the symmetry of tiny things.

When none of this works
I run down a gravel road
until in the panting
of lungs on fire

I hear those words "Your forgiven."
In the cleansing of this pain
the hole fades

On the surface of fresh blue water
I sail on a new boat to the horizon.