It's been a while...

...and I didn't really know what to take a picture of.

I've been off work for a while so I've had a lot of time to think.

I've got a few problems.
Not anything I'm going to go into in a massive amount of detail, purely because I know this is read by some of the people I need to talk about.

I'm back to work tomorrow. I'm not sure how I really feel about it. I've enjoyed doing nothing :)

Anyway, I hope you're all well.
This is only a short one cos my head is POUNDING!!

A xx

[edit] I now NEED to vent. It's amazing how quickly moods can change, eh?

Have had an evening of revelations tonight and all about the one person.
OK, three people.

Let's start with the less important (well, it's kinda more important cos she is/was my best friend)
She's leaving for uni and I found out through a mutual friend she was having a leaving do.
Those who read my blips know we had a falling out, so I wasn't expecting to be invited, but it still hurt. Especially as she invited my ex, his brother and their best friend - all people that she wouldn't know if it wasn't for me.
I miss her, but I'm still angry at what happened. Especially her boyfriend deciding to take it into his own hands and get involved in something that had nothing to do with him.
I'm tempted to message her, but when I knuckle down to it and try and figure out what I want to say, I realise that nothing I want to say involves an apology and I think that's what she wants to hear.
And then I think about what I want to hear back and all I want is an apology or at least an acknowledgement she was in the wrong. But I know I'm not gonna get that, so that's that really. Not a whole lot of point.

Issue 2.
This I have to be careful with.
I know this person reads this.
This person also blips.
Chose to write a blip about 'people' who write cryptic things on public forums, ie Facebook and Twitter.
A conversation I had with a friend tonight allowed him to divulge that this particular Blip was directed to me.
I wrote on Twitter, in response to hearing about my 'friend's' leaving do, 'I didn't realise this would upset me so much' - cryptic enough that people wouldn't know what I was talking about, not cryptic enough that people who know the situation wouldn't understand. I chose not to write 'I didn't realise that my friend leaving would upset me as much as it has' cos 1) There's a character restriction and 2) I didn't want the whole world knowing the ins and outs of my personal life.
So I apologise if that doesn't suit you.
But that's what I needed to do.
And you do the same thing by posting all your stuff on here about how things are going on your life.
This person has pissed me off for other reasons.
Lies he's told people. Yes, I know what's been said to his best friend and to J.
You're lying about me to save face. Using my reputation to make you sound like the bigger man and that ain't cool.

Issue three.
Something that happened yesterday. I went out for a drive with a friend. It was all going well and we went to the seafront. This is where he told me, in jest, that I'd be good for a shag, but not much else
(His actual words were 'Shag? Yes. Relationship? No.')
I can take a joke - that's fine. But not that kind of joke. It's not the first time I've heard it. I hate that's how people see me. I reckon that's how 'issue 2' or S sees me too. And that hurts.
One of these days I'll learn.
Anyway, I stormed off and wouldn't let my friend drive me home. I couldn't get back into the car with someone who felt like saying that. Even if he was joking, it felt like what he was saying was partly true.

You know, I just wanna meet someone who doesn't just go 'Corr, I'll have a bit of her and leave her in the morning.' I'm not that kind of girl. I'm traditional. I wanna settle down, get married, have kids, do all of that.
How can I when I fear every man is gonna see me like that? I'm not really all that sure how I've managed to get that kinda reputation.
Probably from people spreading lies about who I've kissed or almost kissed, right S?
Is that a little less cryptic for you?

Sorry guys. I needed to vent.
Would love some good vibes sent to me now.

A xx