Against the Tide

I'm running the risk of boring you now....but see if you can follow this, the continuing saga of BT, my broadband, my phone line, my frustration with call centres, for today was a complete waste of my time, but by jove, we might just have arrived at a solution.

18 months ago:
Moved into new house.
Ordered New phone line and broadband in advance of move so it would be in and ready.
Not in, Not ready.

One week later.
Equipment arrives. Line still not in.
appointment booked for 2 days later.

2 days later.
Engineer fails to turn up.
New appointment booked.

5 days later.
Line into house installed.
No connection.
"not my job guv'nor. I'm Open Reach, not BT."
BT claim line is working, rings their end.
Long story short, connected the wrong line to the house.

Next day.
Get wrong line and broadband working...in a bedroom.
Make appointment for Engineer visit 7 working days later to install new line in to correct junction.

7 working days later.
No Engineer.

3 months later.
No Engineer.

6 months months later.
BT work out the only way to solve this is a home move, from our house....to our house. (work that one out!)
Engineer turns up.
"Where have you moved from?
"Here!"
Disconnects old line. Connects new line.....to the same sockets.
Tests it...old phone rings, not his test phone.
Thinks his test phone is broken, but says all is OK as our phone rang.
How can that be, I says, that's connected to the old phone?
Puzzled look.
Leaves. His time is up. Needs his Dinner.

3 months later.
Eventually a new Engineer sets up new line and broadband correctly, but linking to the wrong number.

1 week later.
Phone disconnected for non payment of bill.
All bills paid for by Direct Debit.
"£374 outstanding sir"

3 days later
Seems that outstanding amount is for the old line that you no longer have. Order was never cancelled.
£374 credited.

5 months ago
Upgraded to broadband infinity. 40Mb downloads.

4 months ago.
Online bill shows one-off charge of £85+for equipment
Q - "What for?"
A - "Phones for your line sir!"
Q - "What phones? I bought my phone sets 14 months ago.
A - "Oh. really?"
Credit for £85.75

3 weeks later
Phone disconnected for non payment of bill.
"£85.75 outstanding sir!"

Next day
Phone (and broadband) reconnected.
Credit for £85.75

I've missed loads out in an attempt to keep you from falling asleep and not all details are exactly accurate as memory fades on values...but now to the latest, the first part of which I touched on here just a couple of weeks ago....

Two weeks ago.
Phone disconnected for non payment of bill.
All bills paid for by Direct Debit.
"£203.50 outstanding sir!"
"Not possible - I'm online now, shows my next bill due for payment by 16th Sept as $43.15!"
Q - "What are you looking at sir?"
A - "My online Bill - because I'm a paperless account!" (I like to do my bit for the planet.
Q - "I can see it says £203.50 sir. Are you looking at the right account?"
I give him the number.
"That's you old account sir - let me look at it.....sir, you been paying your money into your old BT account rather than your new one."
"Now that's clever of me..." says I, "...as I pay it by direct debit, and everything was arranged by you, plus the old account was 'closed' months and months ago....by you"
"Oh yes, I can see that sir, don't worry, all credited across, phones unbarred, please accept our apologies."

Next day.
Phones online. Broadband online.

Last night.
Phone disconnected for non payment of bill.

This morning. 8.00am
Q - "WTF is going on."
A - "You need to pay your bill sir".
Q - "What bill?"
A - " you have £203.50 outstanding for last months and already £40+ accruing on this months bill, sir."
Q - "Are you all complete morons!?"
A - "No sir. No need for that. You just need to pay your bills"

No need to tell you my answer.

1 hour later.
A supervisor manages to credit my account, and order the line to be re-connected,
"I have ordered this myself personally sir, your line should be up and running within an hour.

2 hours later.
No phone. No broadband.
"I'll put you through to the relevant department sir, they can check you line for you".
Problem explained to a third person.
"I can see the bar has been lifted sir, but let me ensure both line and phone are activated....bear with me............5 minutes later......OK sir, I have re-set your profile, issued a new password, you will see this working within 10 minutes. I will wait on the line for that time so that we are sure you are working".........15 minutes later...."just wait another ten minutes or so sir, and if it does not come up, call back".

30 minutes later.
No phone. No broadband.
"sir, it can take up to 24 hours for a line to be activated. No-one in BT can change that or speed it up, it is a "ROBOTIC" action, not a human one!"
"Are you 100% positive??"
"100% sir."

3 hours later (now 4.30pm)
Just happen to check Line 2. It's working!!
Line 1 - No phone. No broadband.
Q -"Ahhh, Welsh Debbie - let's hope you can help me. If my Line 2 is working, why isn't my Line 1 and broadband working?"
A - "Don't know sir, I'll get it going for you."
Q - ""but it's Robotic isn't it? you won't be able to"
A - "don't you worry 'darling' (she called me darling!!!) I'll have you up and running in no time."
Q - " ...but they said......oh, hang on a moment...it's up and running!!"

"Told you my 'lovely' (She called me 'my lovely'!!!) "- she said in that gorgeous welsh accent! (PS -slightly biased methinks).
Q - "so I've spent all day without broadband and phone, and someone could have just switched be back on like that!?"
A - "should have spoken to me first darling (there it was again!)".

Damn right!!!

"....here's my email address......any problems again, just email me and I'll phone you, alright sweetheart? - you have good day"

Debbie. I love you!
BT. I hate you and you don't deserve Debbie!!

Anyone who got through this deserves a medal. Sometimes it feels like you're just swimming against the tide. So here one of my non-tidal favourite spots near home. You may recognise it....and the colours reminded me of BT colours!

PS - remembered to copy this before publishing.
PPS - Lucky I did!!!