Today

God speaks to me in the best ways... Today while I was journaling, sipping tea, watching the rain fall, listening to some Phil Wickham, and praying for God to reveal His plans for me... The questions cycling through my head were: "do you want me to be single?", "how does my heart for the Middle Eastern travel/living align with your plan for my life?", "God can you please send me confirmation in my desires?" I look down at the lid of my cup and it says "Solo Traveler...."


This night was one of the hardest night I think I will ever have emotionally. Doors were clearly shown to me as being closed. I bared my soul, told him I loved him and do not want this to be over, that I wanted to do life together, and he denied my heart. I will bless his decision, and pray the best for him as he wrestles and learns from God what it means to be a man, single, and direction for his life. I am taking tonight as confirmation from God to officially move on. God has plans for me right now that do not include me dating D or anyone else for that matter (for a while at least). I have wounds that need to heal, songs to sing, hearts to experience, arms to embrace, screams to be loud, wrestling/praying/crying/laughing/rejoicing/thanking/asking forgiveness/forgiving/feeling/understanding/questioning/dreaming/working/living with my Father


And the greatest of these is love.