Lights Out

Today was difficult, confusing, and emotional.

We had a meeting at work first thing in the morning. Major hints were dropped that I may finally get the job offer I've been begging for since April. That should make me happy beyond words, but as it would involve leaving everything and everyone I know, it mostly just makes me terrified. And it makes me doubt myself for ever asking for it in the first place. What was I thinking?!?!? (Answer: I was thinking it would never actually happen.) I did a lot of confused crying today.

Tonight I found out that I've been passed over for a promotion at the theatre. That probably would have made me cry, were I not still reeling from what happened at work. I decided I can't deal with that place right now, and I'm taking the weekend off from "acting" to recover this allergy nonsense. I wonder if I'll curl up in bed and weep all weekend, or if I'll get up, get out, and do something to help myself out. I know which one I should do...

We had a party at the theatre to celebrate the well-earned and much-deserved promotions that were handed out tonight. I snapped this murky, overprocessed picture of the theatre bar because it seemed like a good metaphor for where I am - tiny little points of light somewhere out there, but right now it's too dark for me see my way to them.

(I should also mention that I'm high on cold medicine right now. When I sober up and reread the above, I'll probably make a puke-y face at it ;)