Dreams

Another very vivid dream ...

I found a Lego model that my aunt and I made together, (my aunt is actually my transgendered dad) it's of the space shuttle challenger but it's broken, there are lots of pieces missing so although it brings back happy memories, I begin to take it apart. Then I find a box. I open it and it's got drawings, that I did, all dated around 1985/1986. I look at them and compare my artistic skills against my daughter - I find a picture of a puppy I drew, which I named Clara. I continue looking and remembering actually drawing these pictures. Remember sights and sounds and smells, remember where I was with each particular picture. I go back into the box and find some toys, my Aristocats Mr O'Malley cat from McDonalds scattered amongst them (Clara loves Aristocats, I liked it when I was younger) some Lego and other toys. There is a model lorry that I made, the curtains which I sewed and towels I folded are still in there, as are the Polly Pocket McDonalds toys. I find A Cadburys Christmas selection box .. A model of my school? I try to take photos of each picture, each item but them my children are running through and have started drawing on everything and playing with everything, knocking it all over .. I get cross with them, shout at them to leave so I can remember my childhood for happy times.

This is their time now, my childhood is only memories and whatever happened back then has already happened. It's made me who I am and I will give my children the life they deserve. They already have far more than we did, in way of love, attention and honesty. Basic things which every human should have.

I like dreams like this, it's nice to reminisce, but it's also nice to be put in my place once in a while!

By the way, my blip is a dolls house which I've been fixing up for the girls. It was a bargain at £80 due to a previous owner not having time to complete it. I stripped the paintwork and started again. Now I actually have money each month, I can start to work on it again. Next job is electrics :)