'Shes Gone' ..17 years on.

Today is the 17th anniversary (do we call it that?) of my mums passing.
I was 28 when she died, and living in Barbados with Steve & Alex *aged 4
i rang to speak to my mum, and let Alex talk first..
it was all very odd, as grandad said he would call back, and cut Alex off.
after a very short while, that felt like forever, Dad called us back.

I answered~and all he said to me was 'shes gone'
i said where.. thinking she had gone off wandering somewhere as it was a sunday..
and he said 'shes dead~your Mums dead'

I heard this roar come out of my throat~soo animalistic..it was deep inside..
I screamed for what seemd like a very long time and i remember watching the fan on the ceiling go round and round..

How could my Mum be Gone..she was 67 years old..it was her birthday on 14th Oct..she couldnt be gone.

That day is still soo clear to me.
the panic to get me on a flight, as my friend and her sone were landing to spend 2 weeks with us that evening.
as it was..i got on the flight she got off, and all we did was pass in the airport.

Memories fade as we age..
but she was right when she used to tell me..

You will miss me when im gone!

Love you Mum x

Ps I thought Nelson was a fitting tribute to my mum..as she loved cats too x