DESERT ISLANDS DISCS LUXURY ITEM

I've thought a lot about what I couldn't live without on the
metaphorical desert island.

Kirsty: "Well, we're nearly at the end and you know what I have to ask
you... Which of your eight tracks would you rescue from the waves?"

Moi: "It's such a difficult choice, Kirsty, but it would have to be
the recording of my six-year-old twins, Cantilever and Barquentine,
playing "The Sabre Dance" on bassoon and glockenspiel at their school
Christmas concert.

K: "And your book, in addition to the Bible and Complete Works of
Shakespeare?"

Moi: "It would have to be 'The Epic of Gilgamesh' in the original
cuneiform. At last I'd have the time and leisure to decipher it. At
the moment I'm so tired at the end of the day that I fall asleep at
the third or fourth wedge."

K: "And your luxury item, CarolineJay. Would it be your Nobel medal or
either of your two Oscars?"

Moi: "Certainly not, Kirsty. It would be a crate of Boots Lip Salve,
and I hope I could find a shady place to keep it from melting!"

K: "As long as you promise not to use the crate as shelter."

Moi: "I promise, Kirsty."