soothers

nondescript weekend, took today off work - told my boss it's to get the train south to be around for S planning N's funeral, but mostly i need to just not be at work right now. i'm totally drained by this, and just when i need to have someone to lean on i don't - despite a couple of good days recently he's just not there for me and having to process death, bereavement, being supportive *and* the wtf-ness of what i thought was a friendship but apparently isn't is becoming too much; i'm cracking up at work and in constant danger of breaking down (have broken down a couple of times).

so i took the bus out of town and bought plants. i think my tiny patch of green is going to be vital for my sanity this summer.