The Sound Of Silence

What a lot of people don't know about me is that music used to be a big part of my life. This is because a lot of people don't know a lot of stuff about me because I am not famous.
(I'm being daft. You're lucky. Earlier I was really grumpy and I expect my husband would have preferred the daft me and now he's not here... )

My parents thought music would play a big part in my life and I thought it would too. But I probably didn't have enough courage or commitment or something...

Anyway. I used to play the flute and piano every day and sing a lot. But for the last twenty years of my life I've been a lot quieter, musically, than the first twenty.

I decided to get a decent flute about 2 years ago (after having the same tatty beginner's Yamaha for thirty years) and a stand so that it wouldn't be hidden away in its case. But music is still one of my guilty pleasures and I have to fight the inner bitch to allow myself to play.
The inner bitch has been on my back today telling me I'm slow and useless and my writing is crap and I've put on weight.
I keep forgetting the inner bitch doesn't like music and I just need to play some music to get rid of her. But sometimes she's very strong and all you can hear is: ___________________

(Oh yeah, and don't look too closely - the carpet needs vacuuming. The inner bitch pointed that out)