Day thirty-four: satisfaction

Today, some of my girlfriends and I cleaned up our apartment's little dog park. Chainsaws, many garbage bags, a gigantic pile of dead limbs, and lots of sweat were needed. At the end of it all, we drank some really yummy vodka (apple ginger vodka is delicious, just saying!), ate some pizza, and laughed. It was a really good day and I think I will sleep really well tonight.

I also had an epiphany last night/this morning:
I am realizing, slowly, that I am a uniquely good person and that I am stronger than I ever thought I was. I am realizing that I do deserve a good relationship and that someone who will be a good match for me, when I am ready. I am feeling like a stronger, kinder, wiser version of me is emerging. I am proud of all the work I have done on myself this year.

I realized last night that I am not in love with my ex, and while we will always share a special bond, this is truly his loss. I do not mean this unkindly nor arrogantly. I want something different than he could ever offer.

This is such an empowering place to be.

I feel satisfied.