Bleak

This is a horrible image, but it sums up how I feel today.


A short time ago today I received a phone call - not a long call and not overly important.

About a Sofa. (you might be able to see where I'm going with this)

I haven't seen or spoken to this person for some time.

She called me 'Pal' and said 'sorry to bother you'.


Now I've been feeling pretty sore about things for a while now - I think the whole lack of focus and my sheer inability to actually move on are really starting to show.


Anyway, the sofa - she's getting rid of it and 'did I want to buy it cos I always liked it and I had picked it anyway'


I said "no" - end of conversation.



Now why this is all bothering me is, to be honest, very petty and not that very mature.


The bottom line is that some people move on and some people get left behind and the very fact that I am still where i was and New Sofa means New House and more to the point means New Partner which to be honest doesn't actually bother me.



Now this might smack of bitterness and jealousy and that might well be true to a point (what? nobodys perfect) but the Bottom line is that I left her - I don't want to go back to where we had been but not having anyone is a pretty lonely place at the moment.


Now she deserves to be happy and quite rightly doesn't have the time of day for myself but I found phoning me up just to let me 'know' has, i must admit, set me back a little bit.



Sorry for rambling and sounding like a self-pitying, self-indulgent prick... It takes a strange type of person to think your bolted to the shelf at 23.........





-stevie-