Light at the end of the tunnel

"I believe most people are aware of periods in their lives when they seem to be "in grace" and other periods when they feel "out of grace," even though they may use different words to describe these states. In the first happy condition, one seems to carry all one's tasks before one lightly, as if borne along on a great tide; and in the opposite state one can hardly tie a shoe-string. "
Anne Morrow Lindbergh

I have been thinking about this quote a lot lately. While many things are going my way at the moment, some are definitely not. I thank heavens daily for my beautiful family, the husband I adore and a fantastic, feisty son. They make me so happy! Other things however are puzzling me a bit. Ever since moving to Mississippi, we have been doing a lot of fighting. Fighting the newly acquired allergies. Fighting to get our hands on high quality local food. Fighting to see a medical professional on the rare occasion when someone in the family falls ill on the weekend. Fighting racism and close mindedness, so often present here. Fighting to make sure Little Man is adequately challenged at his public school (he causes trouble when bored).

It took me a very long time to figure out that the thing I enjoy doing most (in terms of a paid job) in life is teaching. I have a design background, but I wasn't happy working in the design offices. Too much sitting at the computer or in meetings. Too much sitting in my own head. I have to move (physically and mentally), and teaching allows both. Teaching is about flexibility, improvisation, dancing in place, leaping from here to there. It fits me. I have not, however been successful at securing a full-time teaching job at my department due to lack of experience when compared with the currently available competition. Catch 22, isn't it. It takes a job to get the experience... I contacted the architecture department, and the local community college. No go.

I am not a religious person, but I can freely say this: it feels like God is trying to make sure we don't get too comfortable here. We are here now, and we are living it up. Seeing the family in Louisiana often. Doing fun stuff at and around the university. Enjoying the new friends we made. But at the end of the day, I get this nagging feeling this is not where we belong long term. Which leaves me with the obvious question: where, then?

Perhaps my teaching doesn't have to take place in academia? If not there, then where???

I am looking for the light at the end of the tunnel.

(The image above is a light fixture in one of the buildings on campus.)